The Sign I’ve Been Looking For

I never had much positive influence regarding structuring my future when I was younger. I was left to my own devices to figure out a way forward - career wise anyway. I never had any artistic influence either, unless you count Bob Ross and we should always count Bob Ross. I wanted to be creative, but as odd as it sounds, I didn’t know how.

So I did what I think a lot of creatives are influenced to do - take the practical route. Choose the practical career that will actually lead to a job. You don’t want to be a starving artist and all that, right? Apparently my practical career choice was writing, a degree which I have never used exclusively as a writer (though it has come in handy as an aspect in my other jobs). I then decided to pursue a master’s degree in divinity, another degree that I have never used as it was intended. So, it seems, that all of my “practical” choices were not really practical at all. At least not in the way they were intended to be. I took an art class in college, a gifted friend took a considerable amount of time to give me private lessons of sorts, and I toured a couple of design schools - but I never found a way forward to pursue this thing that I felt was THE thing that would be my passion.

And then a few things happened - signs, if you will. The first was a significant birthday. You see, for as long as I can remember I have been a daydreamer rather than a get-up-and-doer. I have slowly watched as notable people doing remarkable things out there were older than me, then they were my age, and now, well, now they’re starting to be younger than me. I decided following this birthday that it was time to finally move ahead. Either start pursuing these long thought about dreams, or accept the status quo and let them go. And I found that I was not content to let them go, but I still didn’t know how to move forward. I felt like I wandering about in the dark, aimless, stumbling around with my hands out in front of me. I downloaded some graphic design syllabi from college websites, intent on scavenging the knowledge through YouTube and Skillshare, but was immediately overwhelmed. Adobe programs are quite a beast. I gave some half-hearted attempts at playing around with Procreate, but got overwhelmed because I didn’t know how to use it to it’s full potential. I was adrift yet again.

And then three more things kinda happened right in a row, and those things would set off a firestorm. The first was an advertisement on Pinterest for a free surface design class. I had looked into how to design fabrics a couple of years ago, but never did anything with that knowledge. So it seemed like a happy coincidence that such an ad was on my feed. I filled in my information and sent it off, immediately realizing that I may have just turned over my information to a spam farm. The second was a planner I had found and liked, but then talked myself out of. I didn’t need a $68 planner when I had a stack of half used planners sitting beside me, but I left the page open just in case I changed my mind. And lastly, an account I had been following, whose designs I loved and who just signed with Moda fabrics, starting advertising a class being offered for surface pattern design called Immersion by Bonnie Christine. It turns out the free course was hers, and the planner as well. All three of these things - signs, if you will - came together, and in a non-Google analytics kinda way. Add to that the fact that my other half, out of blue, was on board with spending the money for the class, as well as the fact that we had purchased an iPad and a Mac computer for me months before I even thought about endeavoring down this path. So I had the tools I needed, the opportunity to learn, and the gumption to get it done. 

I don’t believe in the idea of fate, I like to thing there’s a little something more at play, but all things aligned that pointed to this being the first step in my journey, and so I took it. I signed up for the class, winced when I hit the “pay now” button, and took my very first steps towards finally, finally, pursuing a life that I would love.